10 valuable lessons to listen – Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

This book states that the differences and disagreements between men and women are primarily due to psychological differences. Listen to this book if you want your relationship strong and forever. In other words, when a critical situation arises, women react in a completely different manner than men. Their thought processes and understanding were diametrically opposed. So we can’t deny the existence of differences, but we can understand them and find ways to reduce conflicts and better understand one another!

The author suggests that men and women have two distinct personalities. The main issue here is one of expectation. Men have certain expectations of women, and women have certain expectations of men, which is the main cause of friction. For a relationship to work, people need to stop expecting each other to be the same and instead understand each other.

Table of Contents

1. Abilities vs feelings:

Men are concerned with their abilities, willpower, and achievements. Whatever a man does, he always wants to do it alone. They truly hate receiving help from others. They are constantly striving to establish themselves as competitors or achievers. When a woman holds her hands for support, a man perceives it as an insult to his ability. Men want their abilities to be recognized by society and the people. Furthermore, men want to be problem solvers, so they usually solve problems on their own. They despise discussing their problems with others.

Women are concerned with their feelings. They were always looking for someone to listen to them. When a woman complains about her problems to someone, it does not imply that she needs a solution; rather, she feels relaxed that someone has listened to her. Women dislike being alone and prefer to work with others. They want their emotions to be acknowledged and valued. They do not want to be left alone when they are hurt or have a problem.

2. When confronted with a problem:

Men prefer to be alone in order to solve their problems. He hates discussing the problem. Men, as I previously stated, want to be problem solvers. They absolutely detest it when others discover their dilemma. Rather than communicating with others, they sit, think, and come up with a solution. Even in a conversation, they simply hate suspense. They want to get to the point directly. They detest having to listen for an extended period of time. They are always looking for a decision.

Women, on the other hand, are always eager to communicate with others before coming up with a solution. Women enjoy listening to others as they are always eager to talk more. They never speak in a straight voice. They enjoy speaking in a suspenseful tone. They build up suspense first, then reveal it. Women believe that talking about the problem from A to Z will help them find a solution.

3. Motivation:

Men are motivated when they are in need. Men are always too concerned with themselves. They frequently fail to motivate and care for their partners, resulting in relationship failure. Men must learn to care for and motivate their partners.

Women have always wanted to help and care for others. She was willing to sacrifice her own desires to help others at times. Women are always giving, helping, and supporting others rather than thinking about themselves. She fails to look after herself. And this will lead to a huge disappointment one day. Women should learn to prioritize themselves. They should realize the importance of self-care. They are motivated when they are satisfied with themselves.

4. Communication:

Men need time to think about the problem before engaging in communication. Rather than talking, he preferred to find a solution. Men hate sympathy and concern from their women. He believes it undervalues his abilities. A man always wanted his woman to treat him as if he knew everything and could do anything. Instead of offering sympathy, women should treat their men as they desire.

Women, on the other hand, believe that discussing a problem will result in appropriate solutions. She dislikes men who say “it’s easy.” She wants men to pay attention to her. She is motivated when she knows that someone is listening to her. She never expects men to provide a solution. But, since men are always looking to solve problems and prove their abilities, they fail to listen fully and jump to conclusions. Men should learn to listen to their women during communication.

5. Rubber-band vs waves:

Men are similar to rubber bands. When men are down, they may require some space. They are unable to be intimate or romantic. They disappear for an extended period of time. When they are comfortable, they snap back like a rubber band. He’ll be more intimate and romantic after that. Women should understand this rather than regarding it as being ignored. In those situations, women should learn to give their men some space. Similarly, men should develop the confidence that they will return no matter what.

Women, on the other hand, are like waves. Women frequently develop depression. When she is down, her old problems will sting her even though they have been resolved. She is prone to becoming depressed when she dwells on all of the negative events in her life. And it’s not her fault; it’s her nature. However, men perceive her to be negative and depressed on a regular basis, and they believe she needs space. However, women want someone to listen to their problems. She will feel better once she has discussed everything. Instead of blaming her, men should understand this and listen to her.

6. Different emotional needs:

Men and women have distinct emotional requirements.

Men expect their women to show them appreciation, recognition, encouragement, and approval. This is critical for men. However, women make mistakes, such as:

Offers unsolicited advice in an attempt to improve his behavior.
Complains about what he hasn’t done and fails to appreciate what he has done.

Whereas women seek compassion, understanding, and respect. This is critical for women. However, men can make mistakes, such as:

Underestimating the importance of her feelings and needs
He listens, but then blames her
After listening, he says nothing and splits.

7. When it comes to gift:

Women believe that love encompasses giving more. However, men are always looking for a result. Women value the number of gits, whereas men value the value of a big gift. When they both fail to recognize this, conflict arises. It is a waste of time when women give small gifts every month. Instead of frequent small gifts, women should try to provide a valuable gift on occasion. On the other hand, men give a valuable gifts for her birthday and will wait for her next birthday. Instead, men should try to give small gifts frequently. This is not to say she expects more, but she has always desired to be loved and cared for.

8. Arguments:

When an argument arises, men always want to win in an argument. So he uses harsh words that don’t mean to hurt her, but he wants to win the argument. In addition to that, women often unknowingly start arguments by not being direct when sharing feelings. So most of the time when arguments arise, men don’t know the simplest reason for the problem. Whatever it is for, he always looks to win the argument. So, men should understand that a relationship is more important than winning an argument. They should learn to listen to their women.

Women always wanted to get away from an argument because they knew he would never listen and there was no point in arguing. When an argument arises, women always blame men, even for small mistakes. She is aware that it is not a mistake to be considered, but in her rage and disappointment, she blames her men. So, women should avoid blaming their men as it severely harms them. And women should learn to speak directly in order to avoid unwanted arguments.

9. Support:

Women expect their men to read their minds and give them what they want. Women should understand that men are willing to give everything to their women but have no idea what they need. So it is preferable to ask men directly what she requires but in a proper manner. It should not be demanded because men dislike being demanded. He feels as if he were a slave. It should not be skeptical as men question their abilities. Instead of asking if you could ask if you would. And it’s best to let him decide how and when he does it.

10. Magic of love:

It’s not about how much you love your partner; it’s about how long you’ve been together. The reason for this is that if it lasts for a long time, it means you both understand and value each other more. When you fall in love, it may be fruitful in the beginning, but as time passes, it is likely to change. You will both face numerous challenges in life. There will be several highs and lows. It’s not always about romance; it’s about how you support each other, grow up together, and solve problems together. By persevering through the ups and downs, the initial bliss matures into a more mature form of love that grows stronger over time.

Finally:

As an individual woman, I felt some points were not relevant. Sometimes women also need to be problem solvers, and women also need some space, like a rubber band. It is entirely based on the situations and emotions that they experienced. Apart from that, I learned a lot from this book. What do you think about this book? What are the points you agree with? Share your opinion.