Individuals are not either mentally strong or mentally weak. We all have some mental strength, but there’s always room for development. Gaining mental toughness entails strengthening your capacity to control your emotions, manage your thoughts, and act in a constructive way regardless of the situation. This article will discuss what things strong people never do, as taken from the book, “13 things mentally strong people don’t do.”
1. They don’t feel sorry for themselves:
Do you know what is destructive to oneself? It is nothing more than a way of dwelling on your concerns and problems. Mentally strong people never feel pity for themselves. Do you respond positively to any of the points below?
- You believe that your issues are the worst of anyone’s.
- You believe that all of your issues stem from your bad luck.
- You believe no one is aware of how challenging your life is.
- You constantly complain about injustices.
- You struggle to notice your blessings.
- You constantly long for a different life or to inhabit someone else’s life.
As you are aware, these are the self-destructive behaviours that could ruin your life. However, you can control your life, which is fortunate. You can replace your self-pity with gratitude. You know, these are the self-destructive behaviours that could spoil your life. But fortunately, you can take control of your life. You can exchange your self-pity with gratitude. By practising gratitude, you start counting your blessings rather than your troubles and thereby you can become mentally strong.
- Keep a gratitude journal: every day, write down one thing for which you are grateful. As long as it is good, it doesn’t matter how small it is—you can still write it down.
- Say it: If you declare it, if writing isn’t your thing, say so. Think of your blessings when you awaken each morning so that you can approach the day with a positive outlook.
- Change the channel: When you start to feel sorry for yourself, simply change the channel and direct your thoughts elsewhere. Think back to your happiest moment. Avoid letting your thoughts persist in self-pitying thoughts.
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2. They don’t give away their power:
Being mentally strong is impossible if you give other people the ability to influence your thoughts, feelings, and actions. . Mentally strong people never give away their powers. Do any of the following statements ring a bell?
- Negative comments and criticism deeply offend you.
- You can become so furious and upset with other people.
- Considering what other people have said about your life, you have altered your goals.
- Depending on how other people treat you, you can have a good or bad day.
- You hold a grudge when someone hurts you.
Can you identify with any of the above examples? Don’t stress out. We’ll figure it out. Keep in mind that whenever you lose your temper, you hand over control to someone else. We can work it out so you can become mentally strong.
- Breathe deeply: Deep, slow breaths help to relax your muscles and lessen the physiological reaction, both of which help to lessen emotional reactivity.
- Avoid: Simply say, “I don’t want to talk about it now,” to withdraw yourself from the situation. When you’re angry, your speech is completely irrational. Therefore, in those circumstances, it is best to either avoid the area or end the conversation.
- Distract: Distract yourself by reading, playing, walking, or doing anything else you like.
- Evaluate: “My boss makes me so sad,” for example. However, it is completely false. Actually, you are just thinking that he is intentionally trying to make you sad. It’s necessary for you to alter your way of thinking. Perhaps you become depressed because you don’t like his behavior. It’s important for you to understand this. No one is depressing you. It’s just your own imagination.
It doesn’t mean you are bad if someone criticizes you or offends you. You don’t necessarily have to deserve something just because someone thinks poorly of you or mistreats you. Bear in mind that you cannot please everyone in the world. It’s natural for people to like or dislike you. You shouldn’t worry about it. You don’t need to worry about other people as long as you are honest with yourself.
- Examine your criticism:
As an illustration, your boss may have said that you are lazy.
- Proof: Find evidence by recalling the instances in which you were not working. It serves as a reminder that you are not a lazy slob.
- Why am I getting this feedback? Why did he criticize you? It’s because he noticed one day that you were too exhausted to work because you were ill.
- Do I want to change? You do not have to change who you are just because your boss thinks badly of you. You start by showing up early and putting in extra hours to show him you are not lazy, so he will think well of you. Just keep in mind that your boss isn’t pressuring you to do anything different. You are making the decision to bring about change because you want to, not because you have to. Remember that just because one person thinks something about you doesn’t necessarily mean it is true. Without spending time and effort trying to persuade the other person to change their mind, you can respectfully decide to disagree and move on.
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3. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone:
In order to please other people, one must attempt to influence their emotions. . Mentally strong people never worry about pleasing others. Do any of the following statements resonate with you positively?
- You feel uncomfortable at the thought of someone being angry with you.
- You feel accountable for how others perceive you.
- You discover that it is preferable to agree rather than deny and feel awkward.
- Even if you didn’t do anything wrong, you frequently apologize.
- You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.
- You keep your injuries a secret from other people.
- Even if you don’t want to do something, you always say yes when someone asks you for a favor.
- You must exert effort to win over others.
- Simply because someone told you to, you alter your behavior.
- You look to other people for affirmation and praise.
- You take actions to make a good impression.
If this describes you, you should change it as soon as possible. Understanding what matters most in life, such as the following, will help you to improve your attitude thereby you can become mentally strong:
- Waste of time: Trying to please everyone is a time waster because you are constantly thinking about it. You begin to consider what other people might think of you no matter what you do. The focus on your objectives was diverted. Nobody is in a position to advise you on what would be best. Put an end to your time wastage and focus on your objectives.
- Easily manipulated: If you are a people-pleaser, others will take advantage of you. They are aware of your responses to various circumstances. Therefore, they can manipulate you with ease.
- It’s alright: just because someone hates you doesn’t mean you were wrong. Different emotions are acceptable. It’s acceptable if they become annoyed or disappointed with you. It is not your responsibility to stop them from feeling a certain way. Recognize that some people will never be happy, and that it is not your responsibility to try to change that.
4. They don’t dwell on the past:
Some people tend to think about things that happened years ago, while others tend to think about what happened just last week. Mentally strong people never dwell on their past. Any of these situations ring a bell with you?
- You wish there was a time machine so you could go back in time and change your mind.
- You devoted a lot of time to reflecting and fretting over your past.
- Your past decisions give you constant regret.
- You are embarrassed by your past.
- You often ponder how different your life might have been if you had taken a slightly different turn.
Dwelling begins as a cognitive process but eventually affects your feelings and actions. You can move forward by altering how you perceive the past.
- Schedule time: It’s difficult to stop thinking about your past, so schedule some time. You can take your time to consider it in such circumstances. You can schedule something for 20 minutes, such as “after dinner, I reflect on my past.” It sounds crazy, but by doing this, you can cut down on the amount of time you spend reflecting on and worrying about the past.
- Distract: Whenever you find yourself reflecting on the past, try to change it by watching or listening to some upbeat, inspirational videos or music.
- Set a goal: Setting goals will help you stop thinking about the past if you are motivated to do so. When making plans for the future, it is impossible to look backward. Create both short-and long-term goals, then start working on the actions required to achieve them. It will keep you from dwelling too much on the past and give you something to look forward to.
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5. They don’t resent other people’s success:
It’s normal to feel jealousy from time to time. However, resentment is unhealthy. But mentally strong people never get jealous of others. Do any of these statements resonate with you?
- You frequently compare your wealth, status, and tastes with those of others.
- You feel jealous of those in higher positions than you.
- You don’t enjoy hearing about other people’s accomplishments.
- You fear being perceived as a loser by others.
- It’s difficult to be around people who earn more money than you do.
- When a successful person suffers bad luck, it makes you happy.
- Don’t be jealous of other people’s success; instead, take steps to concentrate on your own path to success.
Use these techniques to shift your thinking if you catch yourself feeling resentful of others. It will help you to become mentally strong:
- Stay away from comparisons: doing so is like comparing apples and oranges. It’s important for you to realize that you have a unique set of values, talents, skills, experiences, and much more. So it’s not a good idea to evaluate your sense of worth by comparing yourself to others. Instead, measure your personal development by contrasting who you are now with who you were in the past.
- Stop focusing on your weaknesses: If you are always thinking about what you lack, your life will become stressful. Instead, consider your strengths and the opportunities you have to improve your life and try to advance.
- Never badmouth the achievements of others: Resentment will only grow if you minimize another person’s accomplishments. Be careful not to say things like, “His promotion wasn’t a big deal. And the boss is only his friend; that’s how he got it.
Being the best at everything is not necessary for becoming mentally strong. Furthermore, it is not about achieving the greatest success or earning the most money.
- Learning to be mentally strong, on the other hand, means being confident in your ability to handle any situation.
- You’ll be most ready for whatever comes your way, whether it’s a family tragedy, a financial crisis, or severe personal issues.
- You’ll be able to live in accordance with your values no matter what life throws at you, in addition to being prepared to deal with life’s realities.
- Being mentally strong will allow you to be your best self, have the guts to do what’s right, and truly come to terms with who you are and what you are capable of.
If you find this article informative share with your loved ones. If you need more to become mentally strong, you can buy this book here.